I hate dogs!
You know what I hate even more than dogs? Dogs at people’s home! You know what I hate even more than dogs at people’s homes? People who give me look of utter disbelief when I tell them the above facts.
Over the years I have cultivated many intelligent people as my friends. As intelligent and smart as these people are, one thing about them escapes my reasoning power is why these people, who are intelligent and smart, like dogs and keep them in their houses?!? Dogs are animals. They aren’t meant to be kept inside your house. When I say inside, I also mean your front yard or backyard which is technically outside but for dogs it is INSIDE!!! If dogs were meant to live in people’s houses we would be able to give birth to them and since we can’t I, think its safe to assume that dogs are meant to live on streets.
These dog-lovers adore their dogs more than they love their parents. If this is not enough, these dog-lovers expect everyone who goes to their place to love their dogs more than they love their own parents. These people cannot or, I suspect, would not understand or acknowledge the fact that there are (normal) people on this planet who do not like dogs.
In my defense, have perfectly logical reasons for not liking dogs at people’s house. For one, these canine “cuties” are all over you as soon as you so much as put your foot on the other side of the threshold of their house, they lick you at places where you wouldn’t even let your boyfriend do it and they will not STOP BARKING (they bark for apparently NO REASON). If this was not enough, at the end of the day you find yourself covered with dog hair from head to toe!! We don’t want dog hair on our body. We have enough of hair as it is, that require us to make a very painful trip to the salon every month! HOT WAX!!! *straight face*.
How to detect if the dog is vicious when you enter your friends place? Look for phrases like “My (enter: dog name) doesn’t bite”, “All he does is jump on you and lick” and “He just barks, that’s it” when the dog-lover talks about his dog.
These people would never accept the fact that DOGS BITE!
DL-“My dog doesn’t bite”
Me- “Oh yeah, your brother does” *straightest face ever*
They are dogs, if they won’t bite then who will? You?
PS: The above article wasn’t intended to hurt any of my friend’s feelings. I like dogs who are not hyperactive. In fact, I do like pugs, who look more like pigs to me.