Saving English

It takes a strong as steel gut and stronger than steel mind to deal with unbridled criticism from someone who has only seen your picture on a tiny window on Gtalk and doesn’t even know your last name.

In my case, where I am not kindly receptive of criticism from anyone, this blow hit me harder than expected. I was seething with fury. I was half off my couch to take the next train to the loudmouth’s office and literally pluck out every one of those hair on her head with my naked fingers. Were it not for the monsoon disrupting trains, there will be a one bald loudmouth girl roaming the streets of Bombay.

Itching has engulfed my fingers since I suppressed this raging desire. It’s getting hard even to type or maybe it’s just me who can’t write or more precisely in the words of another loudmouth “I decry the use of bad language and still use it myself”.

Both loudmouths seem to be of the strong opinion that I, a nobody from a place of which no one has heard of, is raping English language. Soon there will be formulated a new law wherein I would not be allowed to thrive in the proximity of any kind of keyboards, keypads, pen, pencil, paper or anything else that would enable me to conjure up even minutely sensible sentences or even words that would subject the unsuspecting readers to unbearable agony and scar them for life.

In order to forestall such trying calamities I will be soon, in the near future, not allowed to write or publish any of my ghastly penned concoctions. Rejoice!


4 Responses to Saving English

  1. Prick says:

    No woman, no cry. No woman, no cry. I’ll publish your books after you die. No woman, no cry! 😀

  2. Shruthi says:

    These anti-linguist elements need to keep their loudmouths shut and better learn to hold a pen in their hands rather than playing an unqualified critic. Let them speak. Do not see red, you could be a Rushdie in the making. 😉

  3. Hermit done with his siesta says:

    Yo patriot! 😀

  4. Sree says:

    No one kicks the “Dead Dog”. You should feel pompous that people converse about you.

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