Provoked

June 14, 2008

As the subtitle to my blog says, “When I am idle, I write” So, here I am writing away.

I have been grossly avoiding writing my blog since some months and in process have lost what miniscule amount of readers I had for my blog. Ironically, an ill-fated episode spurred me into getting back to blogging with a vengeance.

Since the time I met with that unfortunate incident where my trusty foot ditched me far away from my heavenly abode (read: Ulhasnagar) and left me to partake the ordeal of making it home with one able foot, I have been consigned to house arrest of the worst kind. Initially, I welcomed this leisure time after having dogged in college and at “work” and facing an extensive commute for 4 hours a day. However, the fun and frolic soon wore off and now I face those dreadful empty days after emptier days.

24 hours of nothingness times 10, hop, skip and jump to the loo, begging and bribing the younger sibling to get things done, several hours of radioactive rays barging in my eyes from our Sony TV and last but not the least, mastering my shooting and targeting skills on GTA San Andreas. This has been my life for the past 10 days. If this is not provocation enough for a girl to go bonkers and start churning out rubbish and flaunting it to the world at large then I don’t know what is.

Read my blog and judge for yourselves. Meanwhile, I would keep gobbling up the virtual space.


Wishlist

June 14, 2008

I want to……

  1. Raze all the Sify outlets everywhere in this country.
  2. Fashion an umbrella big enough to envelope the whole of Bombay (including the ill fated suburbs)
  3. Wear an astronaut silver jump suit to work.
  4. Ransack all Landmark, Crossword, Oxford outlets in this country.
  5. Send all our ministers back to school.
  6. Kill all the canines in this world, except pugs.
  7. Personally hunt down all the lizards on this earth and deep fry them in oil. Live!
  8. Set the BMC office ablaze (they are no use, then why waste space?)
  9. Ban news channels from airing “NEWS”.
  10. Make it mandatory for every child who is above the age of 6 to watch South Park everyday.

Isn’t it Ironic? Don’t you think?

June 8, 2008

Tamanna unveils the ultimate law of job hunt

The indisputable law of the job hunt is, “No one would revert until you get a job”. I am certain that anyone who has ever gone on a job hunt has without fail, experienced this.

It all starts with you, the prey, scrambling all over the place (virtual as well as otherwise) to look for that one perfect job that you would love and that would also give you some monetary benefits in return of your invaluable (in your humble, modest opinion) services. You will spend a fortune in calling your prospective employers or trying desperately to get in touch with these seemingly “busy bodies”. I say seemingly because you will find this microscopic group of other employers who will contact you soon enough! While others, after having given out a cry for help and announcing the vacancy in their organization on every site and in ever paper available on earth will never revert. Believe me, once you apply to these people, you will never hear from them again until one fine day when you do have a job.

If ever you are fortunate enough to actually see one of these people or even hear their honorable voice over the phone, they will have you understand in clear and vivid terms that they do not have time for a low-life as you. The only thing that escapes my tiny brain is why most of the people in upper echelons of any organization act so haughty and condescending when it comes to interacting with beginners and newcomers in the field. To me, they seem like bullies who feed on other people’s self-confidence to hide their insecurities.

Once you get a job, or even think of committing to a place, your phone starts ringing incessantly and your inbox is flooded with people calling for interviews. I think they have radar that detects newly employed people so that they can bait them before these unsuspecting preys take a plunge into any other offer.

Conclusion: “To get a job, you should always have a job” Ironic, eh?


It’s Raining Mess,Hallelujah

June 6, 2008

It is that time of the year, when finally our country has a chance to sanitise itself with annual showers! Considering how filthy our roads and any other land, which doesn’t bear the burden of dusty buildings, are, I think we should have rains all year long. That way, atleast a minute part of the vast amount of dirt accumulated over half a century on our part of the earth is washed away.

On second thoughts, I don’t think we should have rains AT ALL. Because, when it rains in Bombay, it doesn’t pour, it just floods! Trains refuse to run, it becomes a Herculean task just to get to office for some people and when they do accomplish this mission impossible they are left stranded and hungry, news channels at last find a way to air something useful ,weather reports (not the saucy weather girls, we don’t even have them anymore), irritating devils masquerading as children swarm the building halls since they can’t go out and make life hell for others, newspapers arrive at your doorstep shredded in bits and pieces and that too DRENCHED, clothes left out to drip dry don’t dry they just keep dripping and make you smell like it’s you who hasn’t showered since you were 10 and a special and honorable mention again to our only lifeline, TRAINS, local trains don’t need rains to stop functioning, they just need clouds enough to block the sunlight to go on a sabbatical.

Phew! I think I have cribbed enough about the rains considering many are delighted with them falling on our HEADS. I shall sign out before my laptop dies on me, as it hasn’t been refueled because the lights went out and no points for guessing why the lights are out.


Cracked!

June 5, 2008

The fateful day of 2nd June saw me fall prey to the one of many things that makes Bombay (I refuse to call it Mumbai) infamous. Potholes! (BMC, are you listening……err……reading…err….god damn! How are we supposed to get through to these guys?) Anyways, so while on my way to a job interview I twisted my leg while walking because I almost tripped on a goddamn pothole in the goddamn Dadar! However, being a smart lady that I am *Smiling proudly like a monkey*, I managed to not fall over the mangy dog nestling right next to the goddamn pothole and was surprised to find that my foot didn’t hurt even a bit. At this point, I am thinking to myself, “Wow, I am strong” and breaking into the same monkey smile and scaring away some of the kids on the roadside.

And so I trudged along and fared quite well in the interview feeling good about the nice day I had just spent, completely unaware of the peril awaiting me in the afternoon. I went for a delicious lunch of chicken biryani and sat with my legs folded in the hotel to savour the delicious delicacy. After I had swallowed the last morsel of the lunch and paid the bill (or should I be cool and say “check”?), I realised I could not put my foot back in my chappal! It had swollen to twice its size and would send shots of pain up and down the whole foot even if the air rustled around it.

Scenario: I am in Kurla at this moment and I live in Ulhasnagar, which is 1 and a half hour away and to add insult to injury (literally) my rest of the family is out of town and not expected back till night, so no chance of dear daddy and Swift coming to the rescue.

What happened next and how I got home must go down as miracle in the Pepsi Book of World Miracles, wherein I would like to thank only and only Hari who took upon my burden on himself (and I am not talking metaphorically here) and brought me home safe and sound.

Currently, I am sitting home and since this supposed sprain has turned out to be a hairline fracture, I will LITERALLY be sitting home for the coming 10 days.


The Bluest Eye.

May 10, 2008

Toni Morrison’s books have been endorsed and especially preferred by the Oprah all these years for, what I can comprehend till now to be, only one reason. Toni Morrison strives to bring out the plight of black people in America or just black people in general. All her novels vividly bring out the REAL, and not what is perceived by others, life of black people.

The Bluest Eye, as expected, is based on the same lines as Toni’s other novels.

The novel’s protagonist Pecola Breedlove, an ugly black girl coming from poverty stricken, shattered beyond repair black family harbours a wish to get blue eyes which are stereotyped as the eyes of beautiful girls. Pecola having been ignored all her life and jeered at by others for being ugly wants to get blue eyes to turn what she believes to be beautiful.

The book is broken into parts and the narrative takes on views of different people at different times. It brings out the intra caste racism prevailing in the black society at the time of Depression in America. Digging deep into the history of Breedlove’s family Toni Morrison dishes out the much talked about black people’s life in America in a succinct and heart rending manner.

However, the bluest eye goes beyond talking about black people and the ordeal that is their life. It delves in critical problems of how people have stereotyped ‘a beautiful girl’ and how anyone who doesn’t fit this image is subjected to jeers and made to feel ugly and how it can devastate a fragile life of 12 year old.

An excellently worded book, The Bluest Eye, will be a pleasant read for book lovers. Every reader would learn something new, something different and something worthwhile.

As for me, I would read it again to find something I missed the first time.


The Strand Book Festival

January 25, 2008

The front page of Wednesday’s HT was adorned with a mediocre ad proclaiming the return of the Strand Book Festival with their standard “up to 80% off” at Sunderbai Hall, near Churchgate Station.

Even though I am an Advertising student and should’ve seen the catch in the phrase “up to 80% off”, I willingly turned a blind eye to the deceiving line due to my undying love of reading and decided to finally catch this time’s book “sale” and actually buy some respectable and readable and worthy books for myself, rather than borrowing them from unsuspecting classmates and friends and forgetting to return them until threatened for my life.

Finally, I got hold of a friend and planned to travel all the way to Churchgate to check out the book sale.

After crisp instructions in English from a paanwalla to find the aforementioned hall and 2 minutes walk, we finally reached the book festival which was nothing but a huge room that reminded me of Hogwarts’ Great Hall with 6 very long tables crumbling under the pressure of tonnes of books (new) dumped on them. But the almost haphazard display of books didn’t prove to be much hindrance and the available of plethora of titles made me forget the fact that just to find one books of Toni Morrison took me close to 2 hours of browsing.

The long tables though divided into some sections don’t really help. But if you have the time and the passion to look for that book you want, a keen eye and diligent digging will prove to be fruitful and if you are an ardent book lover it is a treat to browse through thousands of titles and you never know when you may hit upon an interesting book.

From Leo Tolstoy to Salman Rushdie, The Kite Runner to Lesbian Erotica, Jane Eyre to The Ultimate Break-up Guide, the sale had all the titles you could ask for, well almost all, because I didn’t find the three books that were the ultimate inspiration behind me visiting this sale. Not to mention various Indian authors and I even chanced upon a book on Amitabh Bachchan “The making of a superstar” or something on those lines. All of this at discounted prices!!!

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky (Leather Bound) available at mere Rs 200.

Few more from titles/authors I saw:
Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina.
Bill Bryson books.
PG Wodehouse
Unpublished work of Ayn Rand
Salman Rushdie books
William Dalrymple
Charles Dickens books
Ruskin Bond books
And loads of other ones.

A must visit for anyone who loves books. Make sure you have plenty time to spare and don’t expect to get 80% off on all the books but you will sure find classics at mere Rs. 200 or so.

I plan to pay a second visit to see if they will really add new titles everyday as the ad proclaims and maybe buy some books too this time.